I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
