maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
