Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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