Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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