I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
