i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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