oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
