This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
