hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
