Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
