but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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