I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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