This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
