I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
