We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
