You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
