ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Pants are for mortals
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
