Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
