Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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