Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
