I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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