That's intense
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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