i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
