Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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