I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Is Oprah even human
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
