This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think your dad took our porno
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
