was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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