we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
im having a threesome with these popsicles
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
