Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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