I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
