we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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