3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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