i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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