well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
