If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
