i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
