I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
