"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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