Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
