At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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