32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
