check it out our google latitudes are spooning
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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