one might say we're banned from that church
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
