your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
