What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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