Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's never too late to be topless.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
