; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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