You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
