Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
