am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
