let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
